Ian David Noakes
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FISH, CHIPS & LUBRICATING JELLY - HOT FOR THE PRESS!

17/11/2016

2 Comments

 
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Fish, Chips & Lubricating Jelly: Crude Humour & Greed Collide, as Irreverent New Novel Proves Crime Does Pay (For a Bit, Anyway…)
 
From screenwriter and novelist, Ian David Noakes, ‘Fish, Chips & Lubricating Jelly’ straddles the very fine moral line between crime and desperation, as three total strangers come together through their despair to collectively drag themselves out of debt after a bungled suicide attempt (and toe-dipping in the world of crime!). The perfect blend of crude humor and a vivid examination of modern British life, Noakes hits this one out of the park and into the hands of readers everywhere.
 
Contact:
Ian David Noakes
Email: [email protected]
 
 
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
 
United Kingdom – When Ian David Noakes released short story ‘Partners in Crime’ on Amazon, he had no idea readers would be chomping at the bit for a full series. What struck him even more was that, while laced with gripping crime and humour, it was the truly dysfunctional characters and their rich, often-fraught relationships that had readers begging for more.
 
A true literary maverick, Noakes picked his pen back up and began crafting what has now hit the shelves as ‘Fish, Chips & Lubricating Jelly’. Exploring that enigmatic yet ever-so-fascinating grey area between crime and societal desperation, Noakes’ narrative compels readers to cut to the core of their own despair and see just how much affinity they have to his perfectly-flawed characters.
 
Synopsis:
 
THREE TROUBLED STRANGERS
 
… find themselves in a dire predicament - drowning in spiraling debt through a succession of poor decisions and rotten judgment.

A BUNGLED SUICIDE ATTEMPT

… unites Harry, Milly and Noah in their time of need. But from the dark emerges a daring solution brimming with risk and reward.


PARTNERS IN CRIME

… they become, but their shift to crime only compounds their existing problems while creating a wealth of brand-spanking new ones.

 
“This is, at its core, a comedy book that will have readers chortling all day long,” explains Noakes, a prolific, award-nominated writer. “But, at the same time, it provides a bold literary mirror to modern-day Britain and its slew of societal problems – and the tumultuous nature of human relationships. While readers may first see Harry, Milly and Noah as dysfunctional freaks, they’ll soon discover that the cast are perfect reflections of people they actually know. Who knows, perhaps it could be them! After all, everyone experiences the debt, stress, love, ambitions and defeats that they do.”
 
Continuing, “This book is the product of a nervous breakdown I had seven years ago, along with an anxiety disorder that I continue to manage. Throughout it all, I’ve learned the value of laughter, self-deprecation and unconventional humour. They all have their place in the book.”
 
Always thinking ahead, Ian has a horror spin-off planned called ‘Blood, Guts & Wobbly Bits’, along with a series of episodes for his partners in crime. Ian has also scripted a pilot episode and series bible after series interest in taking it to television.
 
Ian’s debut novel, Hourglass Heights, was published in the U.K. to overwhelmingly positive reviews in June 2014 and subsequently made its U.S. debut on December 30th. Using his background as a qualified behavioural therapist, Ian David Noakes created a harrowing and action-packed debut tale that revolved around the beautiful, but flawed, Detective Marcia Tanaka.

‘Fish, Chips & Lubricating Jelly’ is available now: http://amzn.to/2e47ktE.

 
About the Author:
 
From humble beginnings as a projectionist, Ian David Noakes has taken on several feature film and television options as well as writing commissions since writing full-time. His big breakthrough came when his erotic murder-mystery, Hourglass Heights, achieved a publishing contract. It was later nominated for both the People’s Book Prize as well as the National Book Awards
 
After a wave of overwhelmingly positive reviews, Noakes experimented with many other genres as well. Most recently, he completed a dramedy pilot called Partners in Crime before adapting it into both a novel and completed series under the auspicious title Fish, Chips & Lubricating Jelly. He has also penned a fun-filled horror novella called The Ancient Lawman.
 
Ian David Noakes is currently seeking representation.
 
Meanwhile a short drama he created, Tables Turned, has begun pre-production while he works on a re-write for his upcoming feature film, More Than Human.
 
A serious case of indecisiveness syndrome has made it impossible to tell you what could be coming next. He is currently juggling a wide range of genres ranging from time traveling serial killer thrillers to dimension-crashing epics to supernatural horrors.
 
When he’s not immersed in one of his incredible tales, Noakes enjoys spending time with his wife, five children and a constant supply of Starbucks mochas. Recently, he has become a behavioural therapist as well, because who else would you rather discuss your problems with than a caffeinated, child-rearing, wife-doting, novella-penning, screen-writing, genre-jumper?


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TOP TEN BADDEST, BAD-ASS LINES!?

16/11/2016

4 Comments

 
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Ever wondered why the bad-asses get all the best lines? No, neither have I - I just love them – which is the first reason I had to seek out the best bad-ass lines for my TOP TENS blog category.

 
 … but, I need your help!

 
I’m going to throw one in the hat to kick things off, and it’s a biggie. A biggie that inspired reason two! I watched THE WALKING DEAD on Monday (that’s a lie, I was knackered on Monday and went to bed after watching I’M A CELEBRITY, GET ME OUT OF HERE!), on Tuesday night, and the nasty Negan delivered a killer line right at the end.  Be warned, I don’t think it will beaten!!
 
I’m sorry for all those who haven’t watched it, but it won’t ruin anything – other than the delivery of the line.  However, I do hate a spoiler: so please feel free to skip watching the clip below and just post the best ‘bad-ass’ line you can think of.
 

​THE RULES?

The line MUST HAVE been delivered by a bonafide bad-ass!
The definition of bad-ass?
I’ve just Googled it, and the definition reads:
“…a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person.”
 
Up for the challenge? Cool. I’m posting this one on my blog, and I will be sharing it here, there and everywhere.
 
Looking forward to checking out your suggestions – post’em anywhere I can see them!!
 
Oh, any suggestions that hit my TOP TEN will automatically be dropped in the hat for a signed copy of a limited edition copy of my Hourglass Heights! Limited Edition I hear you say? Yep – I changed the cover design a while back, and the publisher pulped all the original copies… but I hid a few away for a day just like this!

MY CHOICE IS BELOW!! (I know, it's bad-ass! But don't worry, I'm ineligible)

#negan #thewalkingdeaduk #thewalkingdead #horror #imaceleb #TWD #badass #IDN


4 Comments

TURN THE TABLES, OR NOT TO TURN THE TABLES..?

15/11/2016

1 Comment

 
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This is the question posed to Mary, a single mother with a young son, when her patience snaps after a delinquent teenager called Rosie breaks into her property in the middle of the night. She should have called the police and let them deal with the vindictive youth. But instead of calling the police, Mary ties the insolent terror to a dining chair with the goal of finding out why Rosie does the things that she does.

I originally scripted ‘Tables Turned’ as a short drama story, but after speaking with Katherine Shannon it soon became obvious that this story had a message to deliver – and in order to reach the widest audience possible, it should be told in words as well as pictures. It wasn’t long before the twenty-two page screenplay was adapted into a sixty-two page novella – a dramatic works that is now available for the first time in print.

And the short film?

I’ve been in constant contact with Katherine, and I’m pleased to confirm that it is now in pre-production. Katherine has even been able to get the support of the both the fire service, and the police force – as is the power of the message I hope this story will deliver.

The short film adaptation promises to deliver, and the hope is we can start shooting soon. But if you don’t want to wait until it’s released, you can pick up a copy (or download it on Kindle) from Amazon and most reputable bookstores.

Hate paying delivery fees and love good value for money!? Me too, so DO NOT pay for the delivery when snapping up your copy. Just tag a paperback copy of my latest novel, FISH, CHIPS & LUBRICATING JELLY, onto your order so it qualities for free delivery!! You can find my books quickly by selecting the MY BOOKS option at the top of the page.

Katherine Shannon
https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-shannon-774b8314

​#IDN  #youthcrime #shortfilm #mustread #shortstory #TablesTurned  #Exciting #News #Blogger #crime #asbo #stress #psychological #abuse #yob #knife #knifecrime #burglary #teenager #youth #revenge #retribution #violence #harassment #intimidation

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    'I'm just a bloke, tapping keys in front of a screen, hoping for an audience to love me.' #IDN

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